I have long thought that the greatest indignity an author can endure is for their book to land in McKay’s “Free Bin”. If you don’t know, our local used bookstore has a large bin outside their front door where they throw books that they don’t anticipate selling. These are offered for free to anyone willing to dig through the bin. And people do. Readers crowd around that bin – elbow to elbow – rifling through the pile like cattle around a trough or a pride of lions around a felled carcass. Here’s the routine that I find insulting to authors. People will regularly pick up a book (which represents a significant life achievement for the writer), thumb through the pages, read the dust jacket, and throw it back in the pile. Is there a greater affront to an author than to say, by flipping the book back in the pile, “I won’t even read your book if you give it to me!” Brutal.
I think it’s a good idea to see people as interesting books – not necessarily good books, but interesting. Not every book is a Caldecott winner, but that doesn’t mean that they should be tossed in the proverbial “free bin”. This may seem a little trite to you, but I’d argue that it honors the image of God in each individual and reflects the second of Jesus’ two great commandments – “to love [one’s] neighbor as [oneself]” (Mark 12:31). As we engage the stranger or draw out a friend, we model love of neighbor.
A while back, during dinner at our house, one of our daughters made an interesting offhand remark about a mutual acquaintance.
“She is an exceptional question-asker.”
That’s interesting, isn’t it? It struck me as a more precise observation than simply noting the woman’s affability or pleasant disposition. It highlighted a specific skill (likely developed over time) that reflects a self-effacing mindset – a real interest in others. If a person never engages another person with questions, the most probable explanation is that they’re simply disinterested in others. And that’s a problem. I’d love to grow as a “question-asker”, wouldn’t you?
Lately, I’ve heard several really good questions that can help if you would like to strengthen this muscle. Some are pretty superficial and some are a little more probing. Here they are, along with a few of my own (30 total):
What authors or preachers have most shaped your view of God?
How would you spend an ideal free day?
What attribute of God’s character do you find most comforting?
If you were able to eliminate one thing from the earth, what would it be?
Do you use a daily “to-do” list?
Is there a particular area where you sense you may be gifted in service to the church?
How regularly do you use your horn when driving (and why)?
What song from our Sunday repertoire consistently stirs or encourages you?
How long can you tolerate aloneness? (In other words, how long can you be alone before you crave company?)
What time do you ordinarily go to bed?
Where are you currently reading in the Bible?
Where do you get your news?
If you could permanently eliminate one chore from your to-do list, which would it be?
Who do you know that best embodies the graces of friendship?
Do you have any recurring dreams that you could share?
If the Apostle Paul were alive today, would he be active on social media?
What’s the best concert that you ever attended?
Do you have a go-to genre in Scripture? Poetry? Wisdom literature? Narrative? Letters? Gospels?
If you could hit “Pause”, “Rewind” or “Fast-forward” on your life, which would it be? And why?
What piece of technology could you most easily surrender?
Which would be most difficult to give up?
Who first showed you the beauty of Jesus?
Do you know your neighbors?
Do you have any questions that you anticipate will go unanswered until you’re in heaven?
If you had no budget, where would you vacation?
How do you use your time in the car? Music? Podcasts? Audiobooks? Quiet?
What are you reading?
Do you have a passage of Scripture that you are currently memorizing or meditating on? Any “in the chute”?
Do you hold any controversial opinions that you’d be willing to share?
Who is currently influencing you the most?
By the way, I’d love to hear your suggestions as I build my own list. David Powlison assembled a list of questions he calls “X-Ray Questions: Drawing Out the Whys and Wherefores of Human Behavior.” They are are a valuable aid in going deeper into the heart of an issue or person. The full list can be found here . Whether you use these questions or not, can I encourage growth in this area? The free bin is no place for image-bearers. I can only assume that if we grow more adept at conversation, our kingdom influence will also grow. You want that. So do I.